The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.
Maybe you can relate. Has your life not gone exactly as you planned? Have you experienced set-backs, adversity, loss, heartbreak, or any other kind of calamity that really screwed things up? Me too. Over and over. Struggle and pain is part of life for all of us, but how you choose to react and grow is completely up to you. Think about the people you admire most. I bet they have not had easy, pain-free lives. In fact, I bet they have overcome some major obstacles, learned from big mistakes, and become more compassionate and resilient as a result. Growth doesn’t happen when we are comfortable and everything is going just great. Growth happens when we are in the trenches of life, figuring out what our values and priorities are, discovering our own enormous strength, and realizing who is there in our corner when the going gets tough. These are the moments when you find out what you are made of and how resilient you really are.
If you find yourself knee deep in shit going wrong, please hold on to this truth: You will survive, you will grow stronger from this experience, and it may even lead you to something better than you had dared to imagine.
You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.
If you were given something that was absolutely essential to your life and could not be replaced at any cost, would you take care of it and appreciate it? I think you would. And yet the way that many of us, especially women, treat our bodies defies this logic. I’m not talking about overindulging in food or tough workouts – I’m talking about the emotional abuse we subject our bodies to. Our bodies are our most precious commodity and nothing short of miraculous in their ability to carry us through life, but instead of loving and appreciating these overworked vessels, we feel shame and loathing toward them. We focus on every flaw instead of recognizing the wonder that is our physical being. Instead of loving our bodies for all they do for us, we criticize and sometimes even hate them for not measuring up to our expectations. But, here’s the thing: those expectations are completely meaningless constructs of society. The expectations are not real. The concept of a “great body” is complete and total bullshit we made up.
The bad news is that we have constructed these arbitrary expectations and standards, and many of us have let them override our own better judgement and lead us to self-loathing. But the good news is we don’t have to live this way! We can reject the external influences – diet culture, the media, the advertising industry – and choose something better!
Today I challenge you to acknowledge the amazing job your body does for you every day. Maybe even thank it for being such a damn trooper for so many years. And the next time a critical or negative thought about your body enters your mind, I want you to combat that thought with 3 things your body has successfully accomplished for you. Why? Well, for one, it’s just a much nicer thing to think about. But also, and more importantly, if you redirect your thoughts like this consistently, over time you can literally rewrite the neuropathways in your brain. You can actually train your brain to think a different way and defy the negative self-talk and bullshit societal expectations. See? I told you the body was miraculous!
A Queen knows that when you celebrate another woman while owning your own power, it’s called being a star among stars.
Gina DeVee (The Audacity to Be a Queen)
Why I want you to live a Fabulously Fearless Life: My Mission and My Message
Women are amazing! The women in my life are strong, capable, brilliant, beautiful, and funny. I’m literally their biggest fan! But so many women don’t recognize these qualities in themselves. We are often our own worst critics, and it certainly doesn’t help that society has trained us to doubt ourselves and our worth. The cultural expectations become a voice in our heads, questioning, criticizing, and minimizing our very existence. We base our self-worth on external factors, measuring ourselves against the façade of perfection we believe is the standard, and then wonder why we never measure up or feel truly fulfilled! Enough is enough, ladies! It’s time to jump off of that crazy train and learn to love yourself exactly as you are! We each get exactly one life, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend it hating myself, waiting for the right person to complete me, trying to lose weight, or struggling to keep up appearances. I want to live a HUGE life, right now, exactly as I am! And more than anything, I want that for you too.
I am creating this site to inspire you to do just that. I want to share with you my thoughts, lessons I’ve learned, inspiration and practical guidance on how to be true to yourself, ditch the negative self-talk, and live a fabulously fearless life. I hope you join me and share your stories with me as well.
Are you ready to stop waiting and start living your most fabulously fearless life? Let’s go!